Top 5 Books to Read When Contemplating Divorce

I talk with many individuals who are struggling with the decision to divorce. It can be downright difficult to decide what direction to take, especially for those who have been married for decades. There can be a host of circumstances in the relationship that cause difficulty in deciding how to proceed. Some feel guilty leaving a spouse who has an addiction or mental health issue; others remain in an unhappy marriage for the sake of their children — not wanting to break up the family unit; yet others may be dealing with intimacy or infidelity concerns, and worse yet, there are those in an abusive or controlling relationship.

How each person comes to the conclusion to either remain in their relationship or proceed towards divorce will take a lot of soul-searching. No one source will provide all the answers. But there are a range of resources that can provide assistance in your decision-making.

1. Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

By Mira Kirshenbaum

A comprehensive series of questions and guidelines to help the reader determine whether it is best for them to stay in or leave their relationship. Topics covered include whether you and your spouse are compatible, whether your relationship can improve, whether you can improve on your own, what life will be like after divorce, and balancing your responsibility to yourself and others.

2. The Complete Guide for Men & Women Divorcing

By Melvin Belli & Mel Krantzler

Co-authored by an attorney and a psychologist, this book gives common sense advice for many of the complications encountered, whether one is just realizing that a marriage may be ending or moving on to an independent single life, and all stages in between.

3. Ditch That Jerk – Dealing With Men Who Control and Hurt Women

By Pamela Jayne, M.A.

This book provides an insider's look at men who control and hurt women. It discusses the hundreds of ways an abuser can control his partner and identifies three categories of abusive men based on their capacity for change.

4. Divorce & New Beginnings

By Genevieve Clapp, PhD

This book aims to provide a road map based on the experiences of thousands of others, coping skills to handle the stresses of divorce, and guidance for building successful new beginnings.

5. The No-Fight Divorce Book

By Brette Sember, JD

This book explains mediation as a cooperative approach to divorce. It provides checklists and worksheets for a less contentious, less expensive, and more dignified divorce resolution.

The more knowledge you have, the better-equipped you will be to tackle challenges that present themselves. Reading is a great way to learn about what to expect and how to prepare should you choose to move forward in the divorce process. But more than that, it is a way to discover that you are not alone in the process. Often identifying with the experiences of others can provide understanding and information that you may apply to your situation. Gain insight and knowledge from these resources and apply that knowledge to real life.